Photo by: Milad Fakurian

One of the biggest problems people point to when failing to achieve their goals is a lack of willpower.

In this article, you will learn some of the components of willpower. Then, you will apply a simple strategy to transform willpower into a tool for improving and strengthening your self-image.

What is Self-Image?

Self-Image is the accumulation of your thoughts and feelings about real and imagined experiences - past, present, and future - that make up the person you believe yourself to be. 

However, you don’t have to dig deeply into psychology literature to grasp what self-image is and its incredible power.

For example, you can easily remember the essence of self-image management and carry it around with you daily using these seven simple words. 

You are who you think you are.

That may sound incredibly simplistic - especially if you are relatively unfamiliar with the topic of self-image and all of the research surrounding it. But I assure you there is incredible power hidden in this plain statement.

You are who you think you are.

Countless books, articles, documentaries, songs, and other works have been created over several lifetimes to get people like you and me to understand how self-image works.

As a human, you will always seek out behaviors that confirm the internal beliefs you hold about yourself. 

In other words, it is impossible to behave any differently than how you think you would act.

Therefore, it is imperative to establish control over the thoughts and feelings you produce in your mind, particularly concerning who you are as a personality.

What is Willpower?

The dictionary definition of willpower is “control exerted to do something or restrain impulses.”

It is your ability to do something or to not do something. 

It sounds simple enough in theory - but why does it seem challenging to do that workout or meal prep and not do that large pizza and drinks? 

Well, that's because there is a component missing from this definition of willpower. 

In this section, let’s break down the concept of willpower a little bit further. After that, I’ll tell you how to use these components of willpower to boost your self-image and self-esteem.

What are the components of willpower?

There are three significant components of willpower:

1. I Will
2. I Won’t
3. I Want

I Will refers to the ability to do something when you don’t want to. This component of willpower is your ability to say “yes.”

• Yes, I will get up early and work out today.
• Yes, I will prepare a healthy lunch for tomorrow.
• Yes, I will finish the project I started over the weekend.

I Won’t refers to the ability not to do something, even if you want to. This part of the equation essentially boils down to your ability to say “no.” 

• No, I won’t partake in the sugary treats my co-worker brought today. 
• No, I won’t ask my significant other if I should swing by the liquor store on the way home.  
• No, I won’t spend my evening binge-watching that new show I found.

I Want refers to the ability to remember WHY you decided on the I Will and the I Won’t in the first place.

This piece of the puzzle is the most important because it keeps the other two components of willpower on track.

• I want to construct the dream body I’ve always wanted.
• I want to live a long, healthy, happy life full of adventure.
• I want to feel comfortable in my skin.
• I want to be strong and athletic enough to play sports.
• I want to replace unhealthy patterns with my passions.
• I want to set an excellent example for my children to follow.
• I want to keep my family safe and secure. 

In other words, "I Want" is your ability to do the right thing now because what you want to achieve is more important than instant gratification. 

How do I exhibit willpower when I need it?

Although exhibiting willpower is challenging, I hope you can see that it is a reasonably straightforward process to follow at a core level. 

We live in the age of instant gratification. The world around you practically programs your mind to constantly seek more, more, more - and faster! 

However, you do not have to succumb to all the continuously-present temptations. Remember that you are who you think you are.

The next time you notice a moment or situation that challenges your willpower, do this:

1. Take a pause. Slow your breathing.
2. Observe your thoughts without judgment.
3. Become intensely aware of what you are about to do or not do. 
4. Ask yourself, “Will this action help me move toward my goals or prevent me from achieving them?”
5. Make a conscious decision and proceed accordingly.

How to connect willpower with your self-image? 

Here’s a little exercise to help you improve your self-image using what you now know about willpower.

1. Grab a notebook and set a timer for 15 minutes. 
2. Write down anything that comes to mind about the type of person you want to be. You can include things you want to accomplish, behaviors you want to stop or start, or how you want to look or feel. There are no limits. Who do you want to be?
3. Grab a notecard or fire up your favorite notetaking app and create three sections labeled “I Will,” “I Won’t,” and “I Want.”
4. Under the “I Want” section, summarize what you discovered about your desires in Step 2.
5. Now, write down 3-5 bullet points under “I Will” and “I Won’t” to declare what you will or won’t do because you know these actions will lead you to the “I Want.”

Repeat this exercise every morning or as often as you need to fine-tune your goals. You will reinforce these conscious decisions until they become automatic.

Each small success will positively shape your self-image. Soon, it won't even feel like you're exerting willpower. You'll just be doing what you've wanted to do all along.

You'll be successful in achieving your goals.

In Summary

The self-image is a powerful force. It is impossible to behave any differently than who you think you are.

To mold who you are now into who you want to be will require some willpower first.

There are three significant components of willpower; I Will, I Won’t, and I Want. 

“I Will” is your ability to say yes, even when you don’t want to do something.

“I Won’t” is your ability to say no, even when you want to do something.

“I Want” is your ability to remember why you are saying yes and no to all these somethings.

In other words, you can delay gratification now to achieve something far more desirable later.

You can overcome moments of temptation that challenge your willpower by taking a deep breath, coming into the present moment, and making a conscious decision about whether your actions will help or hurt progress toward your goals.

Establish what you want. Decide what you need to do. Get it!